Legacy of Ruin, Chapter 7: Scars (P2)

Llorrin didn't sleep very well over the course of the next few days, so he wasn't surprised to find himself lying awake at night yet again. Llorrin could feel his heart beating all the way through to his eardrums, beating, and hurting like he'd been running through the Tanarian desert with a pack of Silithids on his heels for miles.  He simply couldn't get himself to relax, and getting frustrated with it only made it worse. His restlessness reminded him of the night before he went on his first sea journey, but he could only wish something as innocent as excitement was the cause of it right now. Deep breaths, trying to think of other things, forcing himself to lie still for minutes... nothing helped.

He'd thought he'd spent a lot of time talking to Elduin, but only now did he realize just how much had remained unsaid, how many questions were still left unanswered. For one thing, he'd missed the opportunity to ask the druid about the storm, the very storm that could have cost all of them their lives. Surely Elduin would've known something about that, surely the rest of the world must have been affected in some way, as well...

Elduin's grim fate wasn't the only reason that cost him his night's rest. The men, too, were behaving strangely. His first act since Chuth had promised retribution was to start exchanging crewmembers between the frigates on a day to day basis to keep Chuth from gaining too much control over his crew. That some of Chuth's personality seemed to have rubbed off on his own subjects wasn't such a surprise, but Llorrin's greatest concern was how some of his own men didn't greet him as heartily as they had used to, or how some of them even shied away from conversation...

Maybe it's just me he thought. He hadn't exactly been in a good mood himself since the battle with the Naga, so perhaps his own behaviour influenced others. Certainly a few rumours of his tirade after Elduin's death would have gotten out. Llorrin figured he probably shouldn't be too hard on the men. They, too, had lost comrades, and it wasn't the first time. He made a face when he realised this reasoning wasn't exactly making him feel any better.

Llorrin had just resigned to the prospect of another sleepless night when he heard light footsteps right outside his cabin. He reached for his cutlass, which he always kept within arm's reach, when he heard an urgent knock on the door. Figuring someone who came to kill him would probably not have the decency to knock, he left the cutlass behind. He only felt how tired he was when he tried to climb out of bed, which made his inability to catch any sleep all the more frustrating. Llorrin slept in his trousers and kept the rest of his clothes near in case of a night attack, but he didn't care to put them on now. Whoever was outside was already knocking again, and Llorrin was already planning to tell him off. Even though his thoughts were grey and sad, Llorrin still wanted to be alone with them for now.

He pulled open the door and was confronted by the last person he'd been expecting to see.

"Irewth?!" Llorrin asked.

She pretty much barged right over him on her way inside. Llorrin quickly shut the door, understanding from the way she moved that she didn't want to be seen. He didn't exactly want to be seen with her either.

"What... What's the matter?" he asked, slowly walking to the middle of the cabin, where she had stopped. Talking to her again felt strange.

"Llorrin, it's... it's terrible" Irewyth stammered, with her back still to him.

"What's the matter? You'd better have a good reason for being here" Llorrin said as he walked around her, suddenly remembering he was supposed to be angry with her. Part of him was tired of the silence in between them, but she didn't need to know that.

Irewyth clenched her fists at her side in a frustrated gesture, and Llorrin couldn't help but notice that she looked vulnerable somehow.

"Why do you have to be like that?" she said.

"Like what?" Llorrin said flatly, not about to give in concerning his attitude towards her. He wanted to appear more sure about it than he felt, at the very least.

Irewyth frowned and crossed her arms. If she had slapped him right then and there, Llorrin wouldn't have felt surprised.

"Like that" she said.

"Let's get this over with. Why are you here?" Llorrin sighed.

"I'm afraid."

That left Llorrin momentarily speechless. Her voice had been but a fleeting, fragile whisper, and only now did he really open his eyes to the paleness of her skin, the terror in her gaze. Seeing her like this scared him more than a new Naga attack would've.

"What?" he asked after he'd gotten past his initial surprise.

"Look, Llorrin, ever since Chuth made that threat, I've been concerned about what might happen-"

"We both know Chuth, Ire. All talk, no wa-"

"NO! Listen to me! Wheann has better hearing than either of us-"

You'd be surprised.

"- and he came to me just now and told me he'd heard Chuth and a few others talking about a mutiny. They believe you're making the wrong choice trusting Elduin, that going through with the mission is going to get us all hanged in the end. They... They were..."

She gasped for breath and looked him straight in the eyes.

"They were discussing how to 'get rid' of certain people they think are either too loyal to you or too dangerous to still be alive by the time they make their move. Jeredan was mentioned, and Carekon, Wheann himself and... and me as well. Wheann didn't like to admit it to me, but it sounded like they were planning to murder us all before they take control" she very nearly whispered, her voice trembling like a leaf in the wind.

Llorrin frowned. If this was true, he had a massive problem on his hands... but he had difficulties trusting Irewyth.

"I see. You had him spying for you. Then why is it you're here, and not Wheann?" he asked her.

"Because I told Wheann to keep an eye on them. If we miss anything they say it might mean our end" Irewyth said.

Llorrin looked for support on his desk, unsure what to say. He couldn't be any more confused, with her, and with this situation. Finally, he shook his head.

"Why are you telling me this? I'd think you would want to get rid of me as well."

She took a step closer to him. There was a certain tenderness in her eyes he was unaccustomed to.

"That's not true. I'm on your side, Llorrin. I may not care about the orcs as much as you do, but I know about your loyalty to Captain Adane, and I know you wouldn't do anything to betray his trust. Besides, you don't think I want to spend the rest of my life exploring deserts, now do you?" Irewyth asked, smiling for the first time since she'd entered the cabin. At least her acting in a more familiar way made him feel a little bit more comfortable. Sadly, the smile faded soon.

"I meant it when I said I was afraid. The way you've been treating me, I didn't think I could even defend myself against Chuth and get away with it" she said, shivering and struggling to control her emotions.

"Irewyth..." Llorrin said, more concerned than ever when he saw a tear rolling down her cheek. He extended a hand, but quickly pulled it back again.

"You hurt me, you know. I don't know what I did to deserve all this hate, to be put below someone like Chuth. I was merely being honest to you. Isn't honesty supposed to be a good thing?" Irewyth sobbed.

Maybe she's right Llorrin thought, suddenly unable to look her in the eye while another part of him was screaming in his mind to tell her she was the last person who should be saying anything about honesty.

She's looking for my approval to crush this so-called mutiny. I could see her mistaking some drunk banter about me being incomptent for talks of mutiny if it suited her, and who knows what she'll do if I say yes Llorrin thought, shivering involuntarily.

Then again, can I really afford the risk of not trusting her?

"Look, Irewyth, I'm going to sort this out. First thing in the morning, I'll go over to Chuth's frigate and ask him what all of this is about. I won't mention your involvement, but-"

"No!" Irewyth shouted, interrupting him once again, her voice at its breaking point.

"You don't get it, do you?! I know they're planning a mutiny, and I know what you'd find. Do you think it will earn you the men's respect if they see you prosecuting crew members at the slightest hint of defiance? Everyone will just think you're paranoid! You'll lose your grip on your men and your cause will simply sink further into oblivion! If you reveal the mutineers and a fight breaks out, there will be a bloodbath, and there will only be losers no matter who survives it! If I belonged to the Horde, that's the outcome I would prefer."

Llorrin stared at her for a couple of moments, his thoughts stopping as Irewyth stood there, panting heavily. Her ferocity was shocking. Llorrin had never imagined her to be this devoted to the overall cause, he'd always just believed she was only interested in herself, and her personal advancement in the world... She looked more... vulnerable somehow, and almost afraid of what Llorrin was going to do with that knowledge. Llorrin tried hard to focus on the matter at hand instead of her, forcing his eyes away from her lips as her chest rose and fell rapidly. Nevertheless, he still noticed how she was trembling, slightly.

Those brutes would probably be too stupid to realize it themselves, but she's right, every death puts us a little further away from defeating them... Llorrin thought wryly.

"What you need," she said, slowly, "is for me to take care of this. Everyone knows about the... problems between us, they'll never suspect me to take your side without good reason. The men will be more easily convinced I acted to prevent disaster."

"Are you sure? Did no one see you come here?"

Irewyth smiled, but only a bit. "No," she said with a hint of pride. "Guards tend to get distracted by sudden 'sounds' in the water when I'm sneaking around."

At least she didn't kill anyone on her way here Llorrin thought, quite relieved but still unsure on how to proceed. Her words held merit, but he was torn between stubbornly holding on to his grudge or believing her and safeguarding his destiny... while at the same time risking the lives of some of his comrades. It took him a while to make up his mind, time Irewyth took to study every inch of his face.

"Look, I'm just going to ask you to further monitor this... this 'mutiny'. If you do... anything to stop it, I won't call you out on it, but I hope you'll employ the necessary discretion, and only use force if it's absolutely necessary" Llorrin finally told her, feeling horrible inside.

Killing in battle was one thing, but making uncertain decisions about the life and death of comrades was a whole different thing. If Daelin was genuinely dead, and if his fleet had perished with him, no message would ever reach them. For all Llorrin knew everyone else could just have assumed they were all dead. They had to go to Tiragarde, and then Theramore, to find out the truth. They simply had to.  Perhaps, if Daelin was still alive, he would appreciate the reinforcements. Perhaps...

No Llorrin thought. He'd long ago given up on the thought of the Admiral still being alive, there was no point in digging it up now. It was a futile attempt. Nothing could make him feel better about the decision he'd just made. Irewyth suddenly shuffled closer to him. All of Llorrin's senses were on edge, but nothing could have prepared him for what she said next.

"Hold me" she whispered.

"What?" Llorrin asked.

"I already told you I'm afraid. It hasn't changed. Please hold me" she repeated, wrapping her arms around Llorrin without even waiting for him to agree.

He hugged her awkwardly, surprised to suddenly be this close to her, and unsure if it was what he wanted. Since Irewyth was almost as tall as he was and he could feel how strong she was simply from the way her body felt and how she was holding him, it was actually a quite intimidating experience. For a short while, he didn't know what to say. With a shock he realized how long it had been since he'd gotten this close to a woman, made aware by her touch how he had almost forgotten what they felt like.

"I didn't think you could be afraid. Not admit it, at least" he finally said, trying to sound light-hearted. It didn't work. She tightened her grip on him.

"I used to think so myself. I've been afraid for a long time now. Ever since I was forced to leave Dalaran, and joined the navy, I've felt alone" Irewyth entrusted him with a heart-breaking sob that seemed to carry over the pain it held straight into Llorrin's being.

Sure you have Llorrin thought nevertheless, unable not to think of Wheann.

"I miss my friends. I miss hanging out with the other girls. Here, everyone just looks at me like a pack of ogres that have just spotted a piece of meat. Can you imagine what that's like?"

"Not really" Llorrin had to admit, aware he was probably at least partially guilty of that himself. Part of him wanted to feel sorry for her, but at the same time he had always thought she liked the attention. Maybe that was just an act, her way of coping with it. His eyes strayed down, looking over her body, and he wondered if she really should go dressed like that if it bothered her that much. Then again, she wasn't overexposed by a long shot either, and there was nothing wrong with wanting to look good. He was still filled with doubt though, and made no efforts to hide it.

All his thoughts were washed away when he suddenly felt the hot touch of her lips on his neck. He almost jumped and his first instinct was to pull away, but she held him more tightly as her lips and tongue moved against his skin, turning his muscles to jelly. She picked her chapeau off her head and dropped it to the floor, and her boots were quickly left behind as well on her way of pushing Llorrin towards the bed.

"What are you doing?" Llorrin heard himself ask, feeling himself wanting to back away from her, but she held him tighter, bringing her face close to his. Her hands ran over his sides and back up, slowly rubbing some life back into his sore muscles.

"You're under a lot of stress, Llorrin. Just feel how tense your body is. I'm tense too" she breathed into his ear, taking his hands and guiding them across her body. He realized she was right, he could feel it now too. Her body almost seemed frozen, like she was paralyzed by fear.

"Feel me" she whispered, locking her eyes onto his and holding his hands down on her body, slowly exhaling against him. "I haven't been this scared in all my life, and I know you feel the same. We both need to... relax."

The seductive sound of her voice left no mistake what she meant, but Llorrin didn't feel relaxed at all, and he was certain she could feel his heart beating in his chest. When her soft chest pressed against him he realized it was already too late to go back. Before he knew it Irewyth had him down on the bed, her knees resting across his thighs. She touched him through the fabric of his trousers, running her hand up and down until she was sure he was ready for her. Her free hand untied her tunic behind her back while the other remained where it was. She slipped out of her clothes with the agility of a panther, extending one leg behind her at a time.

Llorrin was breathless, admiring every silky, smooth inch of Irewyth's skin as she was untying his trousers. Seeing her naked was somehow not as shocking as he had always imagined it. Without her majestic clothes, she appeared more... human, less threatening. Her brown hair flowed freely over shoulders, strengthening that impression. The moonlight seeping in through the windows gleamed on her skin and only accentuated her beauty.

She pushed herself up just long enough to slide Llorrin's trousers down, and then slowly slid down, getting more and more of her hot skin in touch with his. He could feel her slithery warmth against him as she moved back and forth, and felt guilty when he found himself answering her kiss and embracing her in response. She had different plans, raising up out of his grasp and moving him inside of her before his arms could close behind her back.

She moved slowly, rhytmically, and accelerated only slowly. Her head dropped back and she closed her eyes, and despite the pleasure she was giving him Llorrin couldn't help but wonder if her pleasure was faked. He reached up towards her and she leaned closer. He slowly circled her nipples with his thumbs, applying a little more pressure with every pass. Her eyes opened and she smiled, leaning even closer. Her smile seemed genuine, so he kept doing it, even though he felt like he was making a mistake giving in to her at all.

Too late to turn back Llorrin thought, sliding his hands down to her hips and trying to slow her down, keep her from finishing it too soon. If he was going to make this mistake, he figured he might as well make the most of it. Perhaps if he derived enough pleasure from this moment it could take the edge off the regret he'd surely be made to feel later.

She either mistook the meaning behind his touch or saw right through it, and slipped off of him, taking Llorrin's hands and pulling him up to his knees, to her level. She kissed him briefly on the neck, and then the mouth and then her lips began to slowly slide down, leaving a wet trail across his smooth skin. When Llorrin realized what she was about to do, he knew he wasn't going to hold out for much longer.

As soon as her lips closed he knew they were nearing the end. Llorrin let his breath escape slowly, giving up the fight, but she didn't stop there. It felt like a full minute had passed before her face came up again, and still she managed to surprise him with her kiss. She crossed her arms behind him almost simultaneously, to keep him close. He twisted out of her near suffocating grasp, moving his lips to Irewyth's neck, then her chest, her left breast, side, hip and thigh. He slid down the bed to get a better angle, catching a glimpse of her face right before he began to return the favour.

His hands reached behind her, touching her soft behind. He used his lips, tongue and even his nose but he could barely hear her, or feel her moving. Her hand slid down the back of his head, closing into a fist as she grabbed his hair roughly. He thought he caught a glimpse of an almost ominous smile on her lips. Llorrin slipped his hands to her hips, pulling his thumbs over her skin to spread her lips as he continued on. Soon, he could hear her soft moans and feel her body slowly shifting, until her entire body shuddered and her hand let go of his hair, sliding down the back of his head. He felt her body calm down under his hands, and felt his own body doing the same.

Though it was over, Llorrin felt more guilty now than he had when he had first given in to her. Guilty for wanting more. He contemplated asking her to stay, but realized that was probably a really bad idea, even apart from the fact she'd probably say no. When she had regained her breath, Irewyth slipped off of the bed and went to gather her clothes.

"What did we just do?" Llorrin muttered as he scooped up his trousers, more to himself than her.

Irewyth was standing with her back towards him, and though he had a hunch she was doing it intentionally to show off her well-shaped rear, he took in the sight anyway, noticing the marks his fingers had left. Only when she looked over her shoulder to answer him did his eyes stray up.

"It's called having sex" she said, rolling her eyes. "We both needed it and you know it."

Irewth finished putting on her clothes and walked towards the door, but quickly stopped on her way there.

"Please don't make too much of it, Llorrin."

"I wasn't going to" Llorrin said, unsure whether or not he regretted saying that.

"I hope you don't think less of me. When I hear the sailors brag about the amount of women they've had, the one who brags the most always gets the most respect, but oh my, if they hear about a woman who has had several partners..." Irewyth said irritatedly.

"I don't think any less of you" Llorrin said quickly.

"I did say I liked you, remember" Irewyth smiled.

You said you didn't 'mind' me Llorrin thought, remembering the words she'd spoken that night all too well, but for a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on he let it slip for now.

"Just don't go ahead and feel too good about yourself now. I'll admit you're prettier than most of the sailors, but you're also the only one in our little navy with a private place to sleep... well, except for Chuth" she winked.

That genuinely evoked a laugh from Llorrin, and he was happy she joined in.

"Irewyth" Llorrin then said, nevertheless desperately wanting to change the subject. "What about the mutiny?"

He thought he caught a glint in her eye.

"I'll take care of it."

Then she left. Llorrin didn't feel like he'd done anything to deserve it, but he slept well that night.